I ran, I ran, I ran, and I ran. I kept running and just
thinking those thoughts in my head. The more I saw that picture in my head, the
more I got more and more angry. I felt like grabbing them, I felt like I put
all my heart into someone, I felt I was tricked, into falling in love, and
having sympathy for her. Welp! I guess I’m not dumb anymore, ha! She doesn’t
know that I know what she did. For
now on, I’m going to show hurt, how it feels to be hurt. I bet she thought it would make me
angry, that I would be sad forever, and that I would just die w/o her, nope
because I know everything.
It really hurts for me to do this, but you know what I’m
going to show her, she can’t bring me down, from now on I’m a new person…… a
new person still in love with her, I can’t stop thinking of that day, that
moment, that second I realized she was my all.
Day 1: She’s in love with him, I can see it but I’m who she
needs. I can give her the world, I can take her to places. He doesn’t have to
be with us, just me and her. I
mean I know he’s what she wants, but I’m what she needs. No one will
stop us, I’m in love with her the
way she needs it. I have everything she wants, I do everything he does three
times better, I mean he doesn’t have to know that were together. We can just
love and love til, he leaves. Ah! She see’s me. She’s probably thinking that
I’m a drug in her veins and just fighting through the pain of choosing. She
doesn’t know how to choose me or him. I’ll make you choose, I’m going to make
her choose.
Day2: Her
apartment I’m looking in her eyes.
She’s laying down and I realize I have to tell her, she has to choose.
“ You don’t know whats happening, you don’t know what’s I
store for you. But you know exactly why you here, looking at me, so just close
your eyes, and just sit next to me. Now hold tight, think of it like a
rollercoaster, except we just don’t need or have protection. Make sure you’re
alone, nobody else around. Kiss me I know you want to, because I know what
you’re feeling , and It’s ok because I feel it to. Just breathe and let your
heart keep beating, Im right here, can you se me, I’m right here, STOP OPEN
YOUR EYES…… LOOK AT ME IM RIGHT HERE!
Day 3: The morning after we connect after waking up from a
beautiful night. I remember the walls
kick were kicking like they were pregnant, people complained about the
loud noise, but we didn’t really care. We wake up to some wine with our
breakfast, she called a cab, and left. For some reason I’m still putting
myself, into this issue of loving others. Not in love but, I have all this
money, I find myself paying for these other girls, I mean I have another love,
that’s what I keep telling them, but is it me, or them that’s resisting. No
it’s them they want me, they try and take me away, but I have the money I have
all want. We pleasure each, and I pay them, am I cheating? The night comes I
walk out, I have my money, I have my camera, I have what I need.
Day 4: She walks in mad and she slammed the door, is she mad
at me. I should tell her. I should just tell her that I’ve done wrong again.
Well how should I say it, should I just say I did it, or I messed up, I lied to
you, or maybe I love you, but I loved someone else. I’ll blame it on the money, this money brings me problems,
but I have the solution to these problems.
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